Dose of Reality

I am a writer. This is my passion and my heart. It’s what I do in my free time and it’s what I do when I should be doing other things. It is the most joyous thing I do in my life and also the most stressful. It is my dream come true.

So many of my fellow authors are posting encouraging things about using this time of self-isolation, quarantine, and social distancing as an opportunity to get some writing done or to share more with their fans or to do some extra promotion. I am so happy for them! What a great thing to do when our schedules are disrupted like this! How lucky are their readers???

I’ve also struggled with the amount of those posts I see. Negative Nan comes out and plays with Jealous Jessie for a few minutes each time.

Here’s why:

I also work in medicine. It is what I went to school for (twice) and what my degrees and certifications are in. It has been my career for over a decade and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I am good at it and it has been good to me.

But because of that, I don’t get to self-isolate to protect myself and use the time to be productive on my WIP. Instead I’m calling and explaining to patients why we can’t do their scheduled surgeries and can’t promise a new date yet. I’m asking elderly patients to not risk coming to their scheduled appointments even though I know they are in pain.

I’m watching my inbox for the next hospital policy, wondering if I’ll be asked to help out with the COVID19 screenings. I’m wondering if they are going to shut down non-emergent specialty offices, and how I’m going to get paid if they do. I’m praying the next case detected in my state isn’t at my hospital.

I’m crossing my fingers that every patient I come in contact with is as healthy as they claim to be. I’m screening patients over the phone and having to tell people in pain they can’t come in because of their symptoms.

I’m trying my best to help my patients and take care of myself while still hoping I can make my writing deadlines. I’m trying to release the stress of the day when I get home every night so that my mind is clear to do what I love.

Because writing right now is hard.

I’m not saying any of this for sympathy. Everyone has concerns and fears right now, everything is scary and the unknown is worse. We’re all making adjustments and trying to live our lives in the safest way we can.

This is just my story right now. My life. My experience.

I’ll make it through. You will too. We all will.

And it’s okay that this is hard.

Promise.